Hes jokes

There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!

Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

Why was Hitler a Baka at mathematics? Because he can only count to Nein.

Why did the old man fall down a well?

He couldn't see that well.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

Yeah, neither has he!

Stephen Hawking isn’t dead, he’s just using VPN.

Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.

Why did Steven Hawkins go to hell?

Because he couldn't walk the stairs to heaven.

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?

'Cause he's dead like their parents!

Why did Technoblade die?

He couldn't respawn in real life!

Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.