Hes jokes

I'm so proud of my grandpa, he killed Hitler. WAIT-

Why was Hitler a Baka at mathematics? Because he can only count to Nein.

I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.

Why did the old man fall down a well?

He couldn't see that well.

A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.

The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!

Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.

You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.

When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.

I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"

Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.

Why did the zebra cross the road?

Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

Why did Steven Hawkins go to hell?

Because he couldn't walk the stairs to heaven.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't find home.

Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.