Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
Hes Jokes
The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
Why is Ollie so boring? He plays board games.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.
In my basement.
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
Why did the moon go to sleep? Because he was bossy.
