Hes jokes
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Why was Hitler a Baka at mathematics? Because he can only count to Nein.
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?
'Cause he's dead like their parents!
Why did Technoblade die?
He couldn't respawn in real life!
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
Your mama so white that her first number was 911.
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
I was speaking to a deaf Asian man. I said, "Hi." He said, "Wha yiu sa?"