Hes jokes
A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,
Librarian: What are you looking for?
Man: I am looking for a book!
Librarian: Which book?
Man: Facebook.
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
Memes
He: "I love you."
Me: "I love myself too."
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?
He was rotten to the albacore.
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
Why didn't the right angle go to college? Because he had 90 degrees.
Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.