Hes jokes

A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.

What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?

"Cya suckers!🍭"

Why can't orphans ever be criminals?

He is not wanted.

A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"

If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?

Therianarchy!

It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.

He was a great vet.

Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.

"Hi, I’m Dan White’s dad. Where is he?"

Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.

What did the orphan do when he got punched?

Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Oh sheet!