How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.
Hes Jokes
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.
Why didn't the right angle go to college? Because he had 90 degrees.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?
Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne."
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
Why did Daveon decide to become a magician? Because he wanted to make his problems "Daveon" disappear.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?
Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
My father was a great pilot. He died on 9/11.
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
