Hes

Hes jokes

COVID-19

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

Dog

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

Why?

The ducks keep trying to eat him.

Why would they do that?

Because he’s pure-bread.

Spider-Man

Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.

Rapper

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?

Because he wanted to drop higher bars!

John F. Kennedy

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?

Memes

Assassination

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

Nuke

Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.

Son

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

Llama

What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?

"Alpaca my bags."

Autism

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

Santa

You want to know why Santa brings such a big sack?

Because he only comes once a year.

Dwarf

Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?

The grass was tickling his balls.

Wall

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

Orphan

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

Amnesia

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

People

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Orphanage

I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.

School

After I see an anime boy acting cool,

Me at school acting cool:

My brothers: "He's just acting cool."

Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0