Hes jokes

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."

The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.

Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.

Why did the kid cross the road?

Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂

A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.

The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"

Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"

Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.

Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because when he was told "go big or go home," he only had one option.

JFK was so popular he was banged in front of his Wife.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?

He wanted them rusted.

How did my dad know I was gay?

He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.

I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!

Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.

You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?

He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.