Hes jokes

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?

Because he hated the Poles!

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

The dear God created the man.

Then he created woman.

When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

Why does Adolf hate golf?

He ended up in the bunker.

My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.

"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he replies.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?

The black one... he's 13!

Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.

A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.

When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.

How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?

Skelesore.

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.

I said that I have been ill.

Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?

Yeah, he Pasta-Way.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor!"