Hes jokes
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?
HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
There was someone who slept late... he missed the dream!
Why did the African 3 year old cry?
He was having a midlife crisis.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS!
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.