Hes jokes
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He had no home to run to!
Memes
Why did Naruto run fast?
Because he tried to get away from himself.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
What did Jamie do after the sucky sucky?
He gagged!
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.
Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
JFK tried meditating. He told everyone he is very open-minded.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...