Hes jokes
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: βHoles gonna be big.β
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was riding the chicken!
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldnβt learn the route.
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
What happens at the orphanage be like:
The orphans: βHE IS THE MESSIAH!β
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
What did Jamie do after the sucky sucky?
He gagged!
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Why canβt orphans play baseball?
They canβt find home.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.