Hes jokes
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
What did Jamie do after the sucky sucky?
He gagged!
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Memes
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.
Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
JFK tried meditating. He told everyone he is very open-minded.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
What did the tree do to the emo?
He left him hanging.
Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.
What happened when the corn got scolded? He got an earful!
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
Yo hairline so ugly even Bob the Builder said he couldn't fix it.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.