Hes jokes
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He didn't know where home was.
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?
Neither has he.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He had no home to run to!
Why did Naruto run fast?
Because he tried to get away from himself.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."