Hes jokes

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.

"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?

A gas grenade.

What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

I called an orphan Spiderman because he's "no way home."

An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"

Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"

My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.

Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.

Why did a Mexican go to Home Depot?

Because he thought it said "Home Deport."

I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.

By the way, he was an orphan.

Steven Hawking was so excited for Christmas till he realized he got socks.