Hes

Hes jokes

Macaroni

Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.

Man

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

Orphanage

I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

Orphan

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

Dick

Bobby had 54 dicks (54).

He took 33 pills a month (5433).

Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).

(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!

Kid

Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.

Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!

Chef

Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?

He pasta-way...

Road

Why did the kid cross the road?

Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Orphanage

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldnโ€™t find his mum.

Crash

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Minefield

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!

Orphan

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because when he was told "go big or go home," he only had one option.

Father

Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.

Farmer

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."