Hes jokes

Steven Hawking was so excited for Christmas till he realized he got socks.

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?

A gas grenade.

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.

Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?

Because he hated the Poles!

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

Why does Adolf hate golf?

He ended up in the bunker.

What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"

Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.

Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.

And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.

I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.

Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?

He wanted them rusted.

How did my dad know I was gay?

He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.

My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.

Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.