A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Hes Jokes
My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
What did the tree do to the emo?
He left him hanging.
Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.
What happened when the corn got scolded? He got an earful!
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.
Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
