Hes jokes
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
Because he hated the Poles!
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
Memes
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.
Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?
The grass was tickling his balls.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?