Hes jokes

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

Why?

The ducks keep trying to eat him.

Why would they do that?

Because he’s pure-bread.

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?

HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.

I added Paul Walker on Xbox...

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.

When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...

What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?

"That is very Wong."

My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he replies.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

My father was a great pilot. He died on 9/11.

A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.

When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!

Why did the skeleton not go to prom?

Because he had no body to go with.

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."