Hes jokes

A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.

When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!

Why did the skeleton not go to prom?

Because he had no body to go with.

Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?

A: A cold shoulder.

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

Why does Adolf hate golf?

He ended up in the bunker.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?

Batter.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

After I see an anime boy acting cool,

Me at school acting cool:

My brothers: "He's just acting cool."

Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

You want to know why Santa brings such a big sack?

Because he only comes once a year.

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?

"Alpaca my bags."

Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?

The black one... he's 13!

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.

Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.