Hes

Hes jokes

Friend

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Magician

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

Rhyme

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.

Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.

And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.

Orphan

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

Son

Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.

Cannibal

Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?

A: A cold shoulder.

Murder

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

Orphan

The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.

Disappointment

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

Dodgeball

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

Ball

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

Fish

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

Emo kid

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

Skeleton

How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.