Hes jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
Sans: What is Todoroki's favorite coffee creamer?
Half n' Half hehe.
Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!
Sans: Bro don't get so HOT headed about it. Just CHILL.
Sorry not sorry -sans
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
Joe Mama so fat that when Santa came to our house he said, "Ho ho HOLY SHIT, she damn thick."
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.