Hes jokes

My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.

He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.

A stone’s throw away, in fact.

Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

Why did Technoblade die?

'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!

Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?

Because he cheated on a test.

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.

Why can't Juice WRLD play Call of Duty zombies?

Because he can't handle all six perks.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?

The captain's log.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!

Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?

Because he didn't have a pen to write with.

A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.

My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

I bullied a handicap today.

What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?

Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."

Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.