Hes jokes
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
A man was at the temperature -273.15°C. He was OK.
Memes
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?
To prove that he was not chicken.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!