Hes

Hes jokes

Number

Why is six scared of seven? Because 7 8 9.

Then why was 10 scared? Because he was between 9/11.

Calendar

Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?

Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.

Fisher

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

Author

Why did the author go to the emergency room?

His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.

Guy

A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.

Trouble

Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?

He got caught playing with his Privates!

Saturn

Why does Saturn have a ring?

Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.

Octopus

Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?

Because he was well armed!

Penaldo

As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.

I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

Yo mama

Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.

Orphan

I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.

And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.

Boy

If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

He fell for her.

Koala

What did the koala do when he was too educated?

He ran away from koalapidia.

Prison

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

Orphan

Why did the orphan cross the road?

He thought he saw his parents.

Oasis, am I right?

Lung

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

Breathing exercises.

I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

Bar

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"