Hes jokes
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.