Hes jokes
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?
Father-less.
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
Memes
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.
Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!