Hes jokes
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
Killua is hot, why?
He's gay.
Memes
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his parents.
Oasis, am I right?
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.