Hes jokes

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because he was tired of waiting for the milk.

Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?

He was roasted.

I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

Killua is hot, why?

He's gay.

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

My brother when he sees a girl.

My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?

A black alien.

Why did Harry fall out of the boat?

Because he's hooked!

One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."