Hes Jokes

Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?

Because he was well armed!

As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.

I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.

I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.

And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.

Killua is hot, why?

He's gay.

The image shows Batman and Spider-Man standing in the rain. The text reads: "How It Feels When I Text Bro At 2am And He Replies."

If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

He fell for her.

What did the koala do when he was too educated?

He ran away from koalapidia.

Why did the duck get arrested?

He tried to quack a safe.

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

Why did the orphan cross the road?

He thought he saw his parents.

Oasis, am I right?

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

Breathing exercises.

I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!

One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."

What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?

He said he was awfully touched!

Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."