Hes jokes

Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.

Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.

The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.

Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?

A: He could not use his mother's credit card.

Why were ET's eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill.

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.

I love working in an orphanage.

I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.

When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse.

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.

Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.

He just couldn’t figure out who.

My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!

Why does the large dildo not have any friends?

He's a pain in the ass.

Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.

He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"

Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.

A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.

What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?

"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"

I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.

He one day said his business was "remarkable."