Hes jokes
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?
He won the No Bell Prize!
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
Is your dad Spider-Man, because he got no way home?
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
Memes
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"
Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
He installed a hacked client on his MC server called cancer.exe.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
How did Hitler tie his shoes?
He tied them in little Nazis.