Hes jokes
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
Memes
Why was the slave so happy? Because he got his master's degree.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"