Hes jokes
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he comes once a year.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Why didn't the rooster cross the road?
Because he was a chicken!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩