Hes jokes

If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.

Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.

I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

Why did the doctor get mad?

Because he was losing his patients.

Why did the chief go to jail?

Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!

My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

How's your dad?

What? I forgot he's still sleeping.

I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."

Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."

I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.

He hugged me!