Hes jokes

"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.

Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."

"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?

“He/he.”

What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?

“What in the world did I just read?”

I like Christmas.

It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.

What does a French guy say when he falls off?

Oh no, Eiffel!

Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."

The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?

He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.

He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.

*I have seizures*

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”