Hes jokes
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
What did the creep do when the woman said, âMake yourself at home?â
He hid in her attic.
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
Memes
Whyâs BBC called BBC?
The dudeâs shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
Why can't an orphan read?
He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldnât find any.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.