Hes jokes
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.