Did the tree high five the emos?
No, he just left them hanging.
Hes Jokes
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"
So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
