Hes

Hes jokes

Orphan

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

Fight

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

Boy

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.

Friend

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

Hockey

Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?

A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.

Dad

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

Orphan

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

Room

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Kid

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

Difference

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

Tree

What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?

Nothing, he was hanging.

Well

Why did an old man fall in a well?

Because he couldn't see that well.

High-five

What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?

He left him hanging.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan live peacefully?

Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.

Punishment

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

Man

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

Prayer

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.