Hes jokes

If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."

A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.

He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"

What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?

The blue screen of death.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.

Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

But he really saved the History Channel.

What did God say when he made the first woman?

"Where is your dick at?"

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

Osama bin Laden rated America.

He gave us a 9/11.

Why was Santa happy?

'Cause he has hoes.

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.

He swears by it, but he’s in denial.

I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.

Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.

Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?

From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.