Hes jokes
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
He never has a bad day because he wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Memes
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" π©π©π©
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Why didn't the rooster cross the road?
Because he was a chicken!
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"