Hes

Hes jokes

Plane Ticket

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

Guy

Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.

Black Hole

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

Hitler

Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

But he really saved the History Channel.

Memes

Dog

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.

Momma

Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"

Cat

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

Orphan

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

Orphan

Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?

Because he did not have one.

Grade

My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.

Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.

She lets him play anyway and I don't.

Chicken

When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

Man

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

Police

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.

He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.

*I have seizures*

Guy

Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?

He won the no-Bell prize.

Guy

Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.