I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
Hes Jokes
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he comes once a year.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
