After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Hes Jokes
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
Osama bin Laden rated America.
He gave us a 9/11.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
What did they call Hitler when he swam?
Adolfin.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What did the Indian say when he bumped into someone else?
"Sari."
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
