Hes jokes

A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

The next day, he could see only one color... black.

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.

Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵

He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez

Why did the orphan become a criminal?

Because he wanted to actually be wanted.

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

Pokemon: Why was Hypno so energetic?

He wasn’t Drowzee anymore.

How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a Golbat.

I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.

Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.

Why did the orphan fail all his classes?

He couldn’t do his homework.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.

I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.

What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

Why did the orphan join the baseball team?

Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.

"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.

Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?