He never has a bad day because he wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Hes Jokes
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.
The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”
Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
