Hes jokes
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Memes
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.