Hes jokes

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.

A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he wanted to get to the other side.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.

Why can't an orphan read?

He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

How's your dad?

What? I forgot he's still sleeping.

What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”

He hid in her attic.

Why’s BBC called BBC?

The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

Pokemon: Why was Hypno so energetic?

He wasn’t Drowzee anymore.

How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a Golbat.

Why did the orphan fail all his classes?

He couldn’t do his homework.

Why couldn’t the principal call the orphan's parents?

Because he doesn’t have any.

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Why couldn't an orphan have an iPhone 6? He couldn't find the home button.

A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

The next day, he could see only one color... black.