Hes jokes
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
My grief counselor died.
He was so good, I don’t even care! 😂😂😂
Memes
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?
So he could be called Father Les.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.