Hes jokes
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
Why can't an orphan read?
He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.