Hes jokes

My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.

Why did my dad cross the road?

To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

My dad died in the 9/11 attack. He was a good pilot.

If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.

I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

Hitler isn’t really a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler himself.

What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?

Nothing, he doesn't have any.

My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.

I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?

He wanted to eat ahead of the others.

Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?

Because they hate how he cares about family.

Why does Hitler need glasses?

Because he could Nazi.

A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.

Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...

why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?

He kept making strikes.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

A: He wiped his ass.

What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?

Do you think he saw us?

Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Answer: Dam.

I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.