Hes jokes
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
Memes
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.
Jack got a big shock with a mouth full of huge cock, because Jill's real name is Randy, and she had no candy, just he gave Jack a handy.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.