My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
Hes Jokes
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: He wiped his ass.
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi.
why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?
He kept making strikes.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
My dad died in the 9/11 attack. He was a good pilot.
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam.
I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
