Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because they hate how he cares about family.
Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
Why did the boy put a chicken ๐ in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. ๐
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?
Because he isn't wanted.
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.