Hes jokes

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.

Hitler isn’t really a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler himself.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

A: He wiped his ass.

Why does Hitler need glasses?

Because he could Nazi.

What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?

Do you think he saw us?

why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?

He kept making strikes.

My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?

"Meoooow!"

I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

My uncle is an alchemist.

He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.

Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.

What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?

Nothing, he doesn't have any.

Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?

Because they hate how he cares about family.

What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?

Nazrat.

Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?

He should just go to his mom and dad!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!