Hes jokes
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?
Because he isn't wanted.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because his options were to go bigger or go home. He only had one choice. :)
Memes
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?
He should just go to his mom and dad!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.