Hes jokes
More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.
Jack got a big shock with a mouth full of huge cock, because Jill's real name is Randy, and she had no candy, just he gave Jack a handy.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"