Hes jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?

He wanted to see a chicken strip.

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?

"No."

Yeah, but then he woke up.

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

What did the cat say when he got mad?

I'm hissed!

The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.

Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?

On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!

Why does the orphan do robberies?

Because he wants to be wanted.

Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.