Hes jokes
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper.
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Two kids were beating up a ginger kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Memes
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with.
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."