Hes jokes

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.

Why does Donald Trump love little boys?

Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.

Why did he quit the internet?

People kept on (rick) rolling him.

Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

Two kids were beating up a ginger kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.

Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?

Because he was standing on the deck!

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

A: He forgot to wrap his whopper.

Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?

On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!

I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.