Hes jokes

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

Why did the terrorist not go undercover?

Because he blew it!

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

Yo hairline so ugly even Bob the Builder said he couldn't fix it.

An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.

Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."

I would stop bullying the orphan kid, what's he gonna do? Cry to his mommy?

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

He can't run home.

I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.

Who was the meanest man in the world?

He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.

I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.

When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"

The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.

Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"

God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"

Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"

Because he needs to pick your balls.

Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.

I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

What caused Captain Hook's death?

He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.