Hes jokes
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.
You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
My dad died in the 9/11 attack. He was a good pilot.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."
I have no idea how he knew.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
He installed a hacked client on his MC server called cancer.exe.
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
He sing, he dance, he he.