New Hes Jokes - Page 71 - Worst Jokes Ever

I would stop bullying the orphan kid, what's he gonna do? Cry to his mommy?

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

He can't run home.

I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.

Who was the meanest man in the world?

He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.

I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.

When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"

The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.

Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"

God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"

Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"

Because he needs to pick your balls.

Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.

I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

What caused Captain Hook's death?

He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

No.

Neither has he.

COP: Are you high?

ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*

COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.

So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."

Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."