Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.
Yo mom so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.
Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.
Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
