Helium jokes

I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.

What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.

What kind of air does Ariana breathe?

Helium?

I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

Hey John, how are you going?

Helium, yeah good, what about you?

(Hey Liam)

What does a doctor do to make you better?

Helium.

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!

Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

A: HeHe.