HA jokes
These are bee puns.đ
I BEElieve you are eager to hear!đ
I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.đ
(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!
Why doesnât the sun go to college?
Answer: Because it has a million degrees! đ
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.
Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
A man needs to leave for a lengthy business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isnât home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesnât need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts, âVoodoo Dick, the door!â The wooden penis flies across the room and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. âVoodoo Dick, the lamp!â The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cashierâs desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. âVoodoo Dick, return to your box!â The wooden penis flies back into the box, and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: âThe cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands; it is far too powerful to be moved by hand,â says the cashier. âYou must never forget that!â The man nods and heads home.
Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout, âVoodoo Dick, my pussy!â The dildo zooms into her vagina and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just canât get it out. The wife panics and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims, âHelp, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina, and it wonât come out!â The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. âVoodoo Dick my ass!â The Voodoo Dick then flies out of the woman's vagina and inside the officer's ass. The officer says, âWHAT THE HELL! GET THIS THING OUT OF MY ASSHOLE!â The woman laughs and replies, âThanks, officer,â and turns around and goes home.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Why did Sarah call off the swing? Because she has no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
Whatâs already gaining âtouristsâ? Whores.
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say itâs their harsh, economic expansion thatâs unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.